What a week! It was tough for me and here are some reasons why.
Hurrican Irene swept through here last week and I believe I was luckier than many others in RI. I only lost power for a day and night, but I did lose sleep because I spent the night at a friend's house in an uncomfortable recliner. It's taken me almost 3 days to make up that sleep and begin to feel normal again. Being without power and just sitting at home waiting for the rain to come was an interesting experience....a little anxiety of what will happen and a little relief from the stimulation of sound. Without power, the world can be a pretty quiet place. I caught up on my scrapbooking while it was still light out and that took my mind off everything except what I was cutting and pasting.
I find when it's quiet, my thoughts turn to self-examination and asking some hard questions. Am I happy? Which direction do I want to head? What do I need to be happier? Lately, I don't feel happy at all. I am just coasting through the days, no major planning for the weeks ahead or taking steps toward a goal. My last entry mentioned that I've been in a low energy pattern for awhile now . . . not wanting to do or go anywhere or be social. I'm still feeling the same and each day I hope that spark that makes me "Me" will come back.
My Dad died suddenly 4 years ago and I still hurt. I found him at the bottom of the cellar stairs after he had fallen. I called 911 and he went to the hospital, but did not survive the head injury he incurred. To me it feels like yesterday and whenever his birthday rolls around, June 22, and the date he died, July 7, I just go into a funk. And if that's not bad enough, I turned 64 in August. I never really enjoyed the summertime before because I don't like the heat, but with all these associations, I am just realizing as I type this that I REALLY don't enjoy the summer months! Also, my Grandmother died on my birthday some years ago and I can never forget or change that. Wow. . . . major light bulb! Or as Oprah would say, this is an "ah ha" moment.
Before I sign off, I think I should say something positive to lift the mood of this posting. Hurricane Irene did a lot of damage, cost thousands of people their power, and challenged everyone's temper. But it could have been soooo much worse! Therefore, I am grateful I suffered only a little inconvenience and was able to return to my in-tact home within 24 hours. I am very grateful to have a home, a car, a job, and money to live on. I am soooo much luckier than some people in RI. I appreciate it and thank the Universe every day! Linda
